Unspoken rules
by Han
Summary: Holly/Lara/Patrick. Set in the future when Lara and Patrick are married. One part


Unspoken rules.

By Han

For as far back as I can remember from living with Patrick there has always been a rule. It was never stated but we both always knew of its presence. No matter how much we fought, swore, shouted, screamed, threw things, slammed doors or dragged up our past there was one thing we never did: mention her name. 

Of course I knew off her, when I first became friends with him he poured his heart out to me over a few pints. But still he never told me _who_ she was, it was always 'her this' or 'she did that' but he never told me her name. Infact when she moved back to Holby I became good friends with her. She's so friendly and warm that it's hard not to like her, everyone did. I never noticed the barrier between her and Patrick. I never suspected a thing until they had their first public fight. It was about a month after she came back from where ever she disappeared to. We were all in the pub after a long shift and they every one was discussing a domestic violence case that had come in earlier in the day. 

"I should have believed her when she told me that her husband was hitting her. I cannot believe I took his word over hers." She said sadly, shaking her head. 

"Well you've always had a problem believing people." He said staring at her with what I later realised was hatred. 

"Patrick," she begged, her eyes shiny with tears. "Please don't." 

"What's wrong _Holly_?" He spat "worried people will discover what a lying, cheating, two-faced person you really are?" He practically shouted to the whole pub. I looked between the two of them, searching for an explanation but I could see in their eyes that they were oblivious to anyone else in the room. All they could see was each other. I knew this would never be explained to me, an outsider, and that the only way I was ever going to find out what was going on would be to listen. 

A small tear slid down her face as she stared into his eyes. She shook her head. 

"Please don't. Just let the past die." She said in barely more than a whisper. 

"How am I supposed to let it die when you're always here rubbing my nose in it?"

"What else am I supposed to do? Run off from where ever you may be because it might upset the almighty Patrick?"

  "That's what you did before. Ran away from me when it got to hard." At this I was really confused. How did they know each other? Why had she run away? Where to?  When had all this happened? As I answered each question in my head I found myself jumping to the one conclusion I dreaded. I wanted to shake him and remind him I was here, that we could leave at any time we wanted. Or alternatively I wanted to get up and run out of the door and never look back but I found myself glued to the spot, unable to do either of these as my worst nightmare was played out before my very eyes. There was nothing I could do to stop it and I couldn't even look away.

"That's it Patrick," She said calmly. "Dig up one of the few things I've ever done to you and use that against me. I've said I'm sorry but believe it or not I cannot go back and re-write my mistake."

"Well if you care for me like I do for you then you wouldn't have done it in the first place. 

"You'll have to trust me on this one," she said while getting her coat on "I care for you. I care for you allot." And then she walked out calmly, head held high while a little voice inside me screamed:

"PREASENT TENCE! PREASENT TENCE!" I looked to Patrick to confirm my worst fears and he did, in two words:

"It's her."

That was the last time we ever spoke of 'her'. I don't even speak to her any more. I think she understands that she's too much of a threat to my marriage for us to play at being best mates. She's now hurting Patrick the way he hurt her when she first came back. It's the equal to a kick in the groin but played out through mind games. The only way of hurting each other that they know of. She still loves him. I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at him. I know it, she knows it, what's more she knows that I know and I know that she knows. But Patrick, bless his heart, hasn't quiet worked it out. And I'm very great full because when he finally does click our marriage will be over before you can say 'custody battle'. Now she's doing to him what he did to her, when she came back Patrick and me were married and expecting our first child. This broke her heart and so now she's settling down and having a baby. Safe in the knowledge that Patrick is suffering in the worst way possible. Having to sit at home with his perfect family, watching her from a few streets away but never being able to touch her. They both play at happy families with other people and other people's kids but they still close their eyes and dream o f how it could have been, should have been. 

A long time ago we made an unspoken promise to keep our unspoken rule and so far I have never even thought of breaking it but since her pregnancy I have felt like screaming her name from the top of the roof top and telling everyone that my husband and this woman are having an affair. Even though Holly and Patrick cant see it me and Jon (her husband) can. It's especially hard on Peter and Jo (our kids.) They don't understand why they shouldn't hang pieces of holly all over the house at Christmas. They don't know that by singing 'the holly and the ivy' at the top of their voices they are breaking a house rule. No one's told them so how should they know? They don't get why they cant point and ask who the pretty Lady is in the staff photo or why mummy always has to read them a bed time story while daddy stares out of the window, supposedly watching the sun set.  They don't understand, and I can't explain, that this is the closest mummy and daddy will get to a happy ending. 

The End. 


End file.
